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Dear Mr. Mustache,
We’ve been friends for a long time
But last night was the last straw
I’ve tried to forgive and forget
But you need to right these wrongs.
Twenty years ago, you met me for brunch at the cafe.
It was my birthday and I was happy as could be.
But when I spotted a friend and my back was turned away
You broke my heart when you stole something precious from me.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, where are my hash browns?
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, you turned my smile to a frown.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache it was so long ago
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, I cannot let it go
Mr. Mustache
Ten years ago, you came to my house on my birthday.
You brought me a plant, what a lovely shade of green.
But when I got too close and my beard got in the way,
I started to itch and I felt something happen to me.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, I got a rash on my chin.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, now it hurts when I grin.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, you gave me poison oak
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, my beard’s become a joke
Mr. Mustache!
Why Mr. Mustache!?! Why are you not my friend?!?
Just yesterday, you came to my house for a soiree.
It was my birthday and I was happy as could be.
Drying out on the line was my costume for the ballet.
You put it on and then snuck up on us secretly.
When you jumped out we all went weak in the knees
And you decided to flee......
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, please bring me back my bear suit.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, I don’t have time for disputes.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, I need to dance like a bear
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, I’ve got nothing else to wear
Oh Mr. Mustache why?... why do you hurt me so? The Ballet is my life. I have no squirrel costume, it is bear or nothing!
In conclusion:
It has been so many years since you turned my taters to tears,
My chin is still feeling weird, and you’ve ruined my dancing career
Your motives are unclear,
Your response I long to hear,
Sincerely,
Mr. Beard
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When the Hams go down to the deep blue sea
And they swim together happily
There are lots of creatures for them to meet
When the Hams go down to the sea
Sea-horses gallop and glide through the bay
They practice pirouettes for the water ballet
Mr. Ham has tickets to the matinee
When the Hams go down to the sea
The Moo-maids are singing a bubbly tune
About a purple cow who swam to the moon
The Bullfrogs join in on their water-bassoons
When the Hams go down to the sea
Oh, when the Hams go down to the sea
When the Hams go down to the deep blue sea
They are one big happy family
As they share in the ocean's jubilee
When the Hams go down to the sea
The Coral Corral is where the fish like to meet
Mr. Baaaass and the Swamchops make a good beat
The Eel-ephants can dance without any feet
When the Hams go down to the sea
Yeah, when the Hams go down to the sea
The Whale-dorf Hotel is on the ocean's floor
Mrs. Ham loves the lobby's oyster decor
It takes the Tallrus hours just to squeeze through the door
When the Hams go down to the sea
The Quackerals are swinging from the flying trapeze
The Big Katuna's juggling the sea monkeys
The sea lion tamer is a crab names Louise
When the Hams go down to the sea
Yeah, when the Hams go down to the sea
When the Hams are in the deep blue sea
All the creatures swim in harmony
It is one big sea-life symphony
When the Hams go down to the sea
Oh, when the Hams go down to the sea
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