Mr. Beard and Mr. Mustache have been through a lot of stuff…but after 20 years of Mr. Mustache's mischief, Mr. Beard has had enough!
lyrics
Dear Mr. Mustache,
We’ve been friends for a long time
But last night was the last straw
I’ve tried to forgive and forget
But you need to right these wrongs.
Twenty years ago, you met me for brunch at the cafe.
It was my birthday and I was happy as could be.
But when I spotted a friend and my back was turned away
You broke my heart when you stole something precious from me.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, where are my hash browns?
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, you turned my smile to a frown.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache it was so long ago
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, I cannot let it go
Mr. Mustache
Ten years ago, you came to my house on my birthday.
You brought me a plant, what a lovely shade of green.
But when I got too close and my beard got in the way,
I started to itch and I felt something happen to me.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, I got a rash on my chin.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, now it hurts when I grin.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, you gave me poison oak
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, my beard’s become a joke
Mr. Mustache!
Why Mr. Mustache!?! Why are you not my friend?!?
Just yesterday, you came to my house for a soiree.
It was my birthday and I was happy as could be.
Drying out on the line was my costume for the ballet.
You put it on and then snuck up on us secretly.
When you jumped out we all went weak in the knees
And you decided to flee......
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, please bring me back my bear suit.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, I don’t have time for disputes.
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, I need to dance like a bear
Mr. Mustache, Mr. Mustache, I’ve got nothing else to wear
Oh Mr. Mustache why?... why do you hurt me so? The Ballet is my life. I have no squirrel costume, it is bear or nothing!
In conclusion:
It has been so many years since you turned my taters to tears,
My chin is still feeling weird, and you’ve ruined my dancing career
Your motives are unclear,
Your response I long to hear,
Sincerely,
Mr. Beard
credits
from Dear Mr. Mustache,
released September 8, 2015
Mr. Mustache:
Joel Marsh Garland - lead vocals
Heather Hirshfield - back-up vocals
Ed RosenBerg III - saxophones, keyboards, kazoo
Michael Vincent Ross - drums
lead vocals recorded by Sammy Rubin
everything else recorded by Ed RosenBerg III
mixed by Ed RosenBerg III
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